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oddinary4bts · 3 months ago

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Be With You | ch 2

☆summary: who knew that the hot guy you've been paired with for a class project is also a kind soul? Certainly not you, and you feel yourself falling even though you know you shouldn't. Will it be your demise, or will it all work out in the end?

☆pairing: Choi San x female!reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters contain mature content)

☆genre: slow burn strangers to lovers, college!au, smut, angst and fluff

☆warnings: oc stressing out about seeing san in class, cursing, mentions of drinking alcohol, sydney and yunho <3, san's dimples, very vague mentions of a toxic relationship, some tears, mentions of the memorial/nick, explicit content: oc reminescing about sucking san's dick

☆word count: 11.4k

☆series masterpost

☆add yourself to the taglist here

☆a/n: a new chapter for y'all! I hope you like this one. it's mostly them two simping fr fr enjoyyyy <3 Last but not least, thank you to @moonleeai for your amazing work as my beta reader, I love you and am forever thankful for you <3

☆☆☆☆☆

Cold snowflakes Withered down Until you bloom As a spring flower I'll be with you

Be With You, Ateez (english translation)

☆☆☆☆☆

Tuesday, September 24

You’re anxious. Not too much, yet you’ve caught yourself pulling at some skin on your lower lip since you got to class, sitting at the very back hoping that you’d go incognito.

It’s your first class with Choi San after… whatever it is that happened on Sunday.

You’ve been trying not to think about it too much, yet whenever you close your eyes, San has a tendency to creep in your thoughts, and you remember how he made you a cake.

Mostly, you remember how he sounded while you were choking on his dick.

It’s insane. You think you’ve gone insane, but you still chose to go to class, mostly because you hate skipping class. You’re lucky he didn’t have the same afternoon class as you yesterday, even luckier that he decided not to come to the morning class after all. You’d almost expected him to be there, but then again, he’d made it pretty clear that his goal was to sleep in.

You sigh, glancing at the time on your laptop. The class is bound to start in three minutes, and San still hasn’t shown up. You hope he just won’t come, but then again you kind of want to see him.

Just to make sure that things aren’t awkward after Sunday, considering you have to make a project together.

It’s one minute past the start of class when Choi San actually walks through the door, his backpack on one shoulder. He’s clad in a light grey sweater, and there’s a guy behind him you recognize as Jung Wooyoung, San’s best friend.

San scans the auditorium for a moment, his eyes landing on you after a few seconds. He visibly lights up then, and he walks up the stairs on the side of the class, heading your way with his best friend in tow. Your heart skips a beat in your chest, and you make a show of focusing on the powerpoint displayed on your screen, ignoring San as he reaches you and sits next to you.

But he doesn’t ignore you - San leans forward, appearing in your line of vision.

“Hey,” he lets out.

You squeeze out an awkward smile, cheeks heating. “Hey.”

“How are you?” he asks in a whisper as he sits back in his chair, pulling his laptop out of his bag. He puts it on the table in front of him, and then glances at you as you remain silent.

It’s like you snap out of a trance. You blink a few times, chuckling lightly. “I’m as good as one can be in a sociopolitics class.”

He laughs in understanding, nodding his head. Wooyoung says something on his other side, and San turns towards his friend, allowing you to focus on what the professor is saying at the front of the auditorium. You’re on the third slide of the Powerpoint when San gently nudges you, and you throw him an inquisitive look.

“Do you think you could send me the Powerpoint? It doesn’t work when I try to convert the PDF.” It’s said with a small pout to his lips, and your little, treacherous eyes drop to his mouth.

You remember the taste of him, the way his lips moved against yours like they knew the map of your mouth already, and you glance away.

“Yes, sure.”

You quickly send it to him, and the professor is already two slides further into the Powerpoint, so you merely nod in acknowledgment as San thanks you, pursing your lips. It’s always like this - the professor for this class makes his Powerpoint far too long, and he always sprints through them every time, making it hard for everyone to follow.

At least his exams have the reputation to be easy.

San leaves you alone for the rest of the first half of the class, also focusing on what’s happening on the projector screen. You hear his fingers pressing the keys of his laptop quickly as he takes notes, and you can’t help but glance at his computer.

His notes are neat, well done, much clearer than yours, though you can always find your way through your own mess. It somewhat surprises you, which you reckon is weird.

You’ve seen his apartment - except for his unmade bed, San’s living space was practically spotless.

When the professor finally lets you go on break, you stretch, trying to ignore the weight of San’s gaze on your features. You miserably fail at it - the second he nudges you again, you turn to look at him.

He’s pulled the hood of his sweater on his head, and it messed up with his hair in a way that makes you want to reach forward and clear his eyes from the strands. You resist with everything you have in you, only offering him a small smile.

“Woo and I are going to get a snack at the cafeteria,” he tells you. “Do you want to come with us?”

Some part of you - the rational, sane part of you - tells you that you shouldn’t, that you should stay right where you are, yet a much stronger part of you ignites at the thought that he wants you to accompany them.

So you smile, nodding your head. “Yeah, I could use a snack too.”

He smiles in what almost seems like relief, and a second later, the three of you are walking down the stairs towards the door, your wallets in hands. Wooyoung turns towards you once you’re in the hallway, offering you a grin.

“I’m Jung Wooyoung,” he says, offering you his hand to shake.

As if you didn’t already know. You offer him your name in return, and he nods. “Yeah, I’ve heard all about you.”

San curses, punching his friend in the shoulder, and Wooyoung just laughs loudly, dodging away. San persists, and they keep at it as you walk towards the coffee shop nearby, which luckily enough is on the same floor as the auditorium your class takes place in.

“Ignore this idiot,” San eventually says as he looks towards you, and you can’t help but notice the way his cheeks are reddened.

It’s cute, and that more than anything releases the tension you’ve felt since he sat next to you earlier. You don’t know why - there’s just something natural about being friendly with San.

“Oh, don’t worry, I don’t even hear him,” you tease, smiling mischievously.

“Yah!” Wooyoung lets out loudly, and you and San burst out laughing in time.

“I told you she was fun to hang out with,” San says and, to your surprise, he wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you to his side in a half hug that lasts just a few seconds.

That lasts long enough to make you crave his touch when he lets go, though.

“Yeah, yeah, ‘cause insulting me is fun,” Wooyoung says, glaring at San.

You chuckle. “My bad, I won’t do it again.”

“Nah,” Wooyoung quickly says, raising a hand as if to stop you. “You’re all good. Friends of San are my friends too.”

You think it’s cute, and you offer him a smile. “Then I guess we’re friends, Jung Wooyoung.”

The conversation is easy after, and you end up getting a raspberry and yogourt muffin that you eat outside of the auditorium while San sips on a coffee and Wooyoung eats an oatmeal cookie. Even while you eat, you still talk, joking around while other students from your class walk in and out. You nod and smile at Nayeon, the girl you sometimes sit with, when she passes next to you, and she returns it, though a second later, she’s looking away as her friend Felix tells her something.

You like this. The simplicity of those moments between classes, when you don’t have to pretend you know anything about subjects you’re not quite sure you’ll need in your future. The student life, in all its beauty, holds moments like this in its palm, and you bask in them.

They’re much easier than the classes and the exams, after all.

“Are you going to the wine and cheese next week?” Wooyoung asks, dragging you out of your reverie.

San’s gaze on your profile is heavy as you blink once, and then nod. “Yeah, I am. Are you guys going?”

“We wouldn’t miss it,” San says in a solemn tone that makes you chuckle. “It’s one of the best events of the semester.”

You agree. You’ve gone the last two years too, and it’s easily the event you preferred of the whole year, if only because it’s open bar - even for alcohol-free drinks - and the music is always good.

You also wouldn’t ever say no to an opportunity to dress up, and the wine and cheese is always one of those, if not the best of them.

“Do you have a plus one?” Wooyoung asks you, and you can’t help but notice the way he pointedly looks at San, as if to gauge his friend’s reaction.

“Yeah,” you admit. “I’m going with my best friend.” You tell them Sydney’s name like a question, trying to see if they know her.

Wooyoung narrows his gaze pensively before shrugging. “Never heard of her.”

“She’s the best!” you let out, a smile curving your lips upwards. “I’m sure you guys will like her.” You meet San’s gaze for half a heartbeat, and then you say, “What about you guys? Any dates?”

San winces. “Nah. But aren’t you going with…” he adds, looking at Wooyoung.

“You’ve seen her five times and you’re telling me you still don’t know her name?” Wooyoung says in fake offense. “Are you dumb?”

“Yah, I’m not the one who spends my evenings with my tongue down her throat, why would I know?”

Your gaze widens slightly at San’s choice of words, but Wooyoung is quick to reply before you can say anything.

“Kassie,” he says, still glaring at his best friend. “You know, the sister of the girl you f-”

San pushes his friend, and Wooyoung dissolves into a fit of giggles that you can’t help but reciprocate, mostly because the thought of San fucking someone else feels strange considering what happened between the two of you two days ago.

“Yeah, yeah, we got it,” San grits through his teeth.

You bite into your muffin as silence emerges, and San’s eyes glide to you. He takes a sip of his coffee before handing it to you.

You look at it, eyebrows creased, and then meet his gaze. “What?”

“Do you want some?” he offers.

There’s something eager about the way he’s looking at you, like he wants you to have some of his coffee. And even though your cheeks dust with pink, you still grab the warm drink.

“Thank you,” you say, and then you take a sip, giving the paper cup back to him a second later.

Wooyoung chuckles. “What’s up with you guys?”

“You ever learned to shut up?” San asks, frowning at his friend.

Wooyoung snorts. “You ever learned not to be cringe?”

And just like that the two friends start to bicker again. You watch with a soft smile, eating the rest of your muffin as they go on and on, insulting each other like only the closest friends can do. You know they mean it all in good fun when San grumbles that Wooyoung is lucky he loves him, and Wooyoung just smiles widely, nodding his head.

Shortly after, you walk back into the auditorium, settling down in your back seats to listen to the rest of class. San keeps on taking good notes, though you notice him slowing down in the last half hour, until he falls asleep next to you.

Wooyoung stiles a laugh at the sight, and he takes a picture of San from his angle. He shows it to you after, and you only then realize that your face is visible, and that you look far too endeared by San.

Is that what you look like whenever you look at him?

It’s no wonder you spend the rest of the class feeling awkward, unable to truly focus. San wakes up when Wooyoung nudges him at the end, while the auditorium fills with the sound of people packing their bags, and San just blinks a couple of times, looking far too confused.

His gaze trails to you, and he offers you a sleepy smile. All you can see are the red lines on his cheek from lying in his face on his arm and when you chuckle, San frowns.

“What?” he lets out.

“Had a good nap?”

His expression smoothes out, and he nods once. “Hell yeah.”

It makes you laugh, and you don’t miss the way his eyes drop to your lips before his own mouth curves upwards. He’s cute like this, and it hits you then.

You’re in deep shit when it comes to Choi San.

*****

The coffee shop is crowded at this time of the evening, college students scattered at the many round tables, in front of laptops and open notebooks and half empty cups of coffee and latté and hot chocolate. Gentle indie music plays in the background, though the low buzz of conversation almost makes it impossible to hear.

You’re pretty sure The Night We Met by Lord Huron is playing, but it’s hard to tell.

Sydney sits across from you, reading a book for one of her anthropology classes, yet you can tell she’s been distracted. She keeps shooting looks at you, her gaze darting away the second your attention shifts to her. Something’s been on her mind, but you’ve never been one to push her - she’ll talk to you when she’s ready.

You focus on the screen of your laptop, blinking as you try to bring it back in focus. You’re studying for a quiz you have on Thursday, but you, too, have been distracted. Indeed, Choi San keeps invading your thoughts, especially as he’s texted twice since you got here.

The first time was to send you a picture of Byeol that you heart-reacted, and then to ask if you were still on for tomorrow evening. You’d said yes at the second question, adding that you’d rather meet at the library this time around, and San had replied he’d reserve a study room for the two of you, adding a smiling emoji at the end.

That smiling emoji reminded you of the smaller, softer smile that had adorned his lips earlier today when he’d woken from his nap in class, and you’d immediately put your phone aside, trying to forget that, though he might be acting all cute, you were choking on his dick just two days ago.

The man that he’s been since then is so different from the one you hung out with on Sunday that you feel it might be someone else entirely. But you know that isn’t true - San is still himself, yet the teasing has taken a gentler side to it, like he realized it’ll push you away if it’s too much.

Or maybe what opened his eyes was your request to not overcomplicate things and just stay friends and partners on your project.

“What are you thinking about?” Sydney asks in front of you, and your gaze widens.

“Huh?”

She chuckles, and then repeats the question.

“What do you mean, what am I thinking of?” you shoot back. “You’re the one that keeps looking at me like you have something to tell me.”

Sydney flushes red, her gaze dropping to the open book in front of her again. “I don’t!”

You hear it for the lie that it is. “Please, I know you better than that. What’s up?”

“Nothing, nothing!” she insists, but the redness deepening on her cheeks betrays her.

“Right,” you sarcastically let out, tilting your head to the side as she sighs in defeat.

“Please don’t hate me.”

You snort. “I could never. Spill the tea, bitch.”

Sydney worries at her bottom lip, then lets out a small, nervous laugh. She meets your gaze for half a heartbeat, and then looks at her book as if she’ll find words to speak on the pages. It seems she does, or the book gives her courage, because she finally meets your gaze again.

“Your brother confessed to me.”

You were not expecting that. In all the things Sydney could have told you right now, her saying that Yunho confessed to her was the last thing you’d expected. Hell, it would have made more sense to you if she’d said zombies had been seen somewhere in the countryside.

“He confessed?” you repeat, if only to make sure you heard right.

“Yeah,” she sheepishly said. “On Sunday night. We drank and…” she trails off, wincing like she’s about to die from awkwardness. “And we kissed, and he said he’s in love with me.”

You laugh. It’s the only thing you can do, mostly because you can’t believe Yunho finally grew the balls to confess to her.

“Finally,” you let out.

Sydney seems taken aback for a few seconds. “Finally?”

“Girl.” You laugh, slightly shaking your head. “He’s been in love with you since like middle school. Are you telling me you didn’t know?”

“What do you mean since middle school?”

You shrug, wiggling your eyebrows. “You kissed my brother.”

“You are so annoying,” she grumbles. “I left after.”

That you were expecting even less, because you know she loves him too.

But sometimes people are idiots, aren’t they? And you think Sydney might be the most oblivious idiot you know.

“You did what?” you say, your last word a little too loud for the low buzz of conversation in the coffee shop.

Gazes turn to you, and you look down, as if to pretend you’re not the one that spoke.

“Shut up,” Sydney says through gritted teeth, and she waits a few seconds for people to look away before she adds, “Yeah, I left.”

“Why?” you ask, and you think about Yunho.

You think about his dead gaze yesterday evening, and how he’d barely touched the noodles you made when he usually scarfs down two bowls in record time. You’d blamed it on the memorial on Sunday, but you realize now that there might have been more to it than you’d initially thought.

“Because,” she starts, and then her mouth opens and closes a few times. “I don’t know. Because it was weird after the memorial. It felt wrong, no?”

“Syd…”

“And I don’t like him like that,” she adds.

She doesn’t fully meet your gaze, and you see it for the lie that it is, even though she might not realize it yet.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship,” she concludes.

You take a deep breath, your initial joy at learning about Yunho’s confession fading away as you take in Sydney’s defeated expression.

“I don’t think Yunho would ruin your friendship,” you say, threading your words carefully. “Have you talked since then?”

“No,” she admits. “I don’t think I want to talk to him right now.”

You don’t know what to say. All you know is that Sydney looks uncomfortable, far more than you’ve ever seen her be, and it breaks something in your chest.

“Babe, you know it’s okay, right?” you say. “I don’t care if you and my brother kissed, or if he confessed he’s in love with you. You’re still my best friend.”

“I’m just…” She purses her lips, sighing deeply. “I’ve known him my whole life. This feels like it came out of a box, out of nowhere. Like a jack-in-the-box.” She meets your gaze, blinking once and then looking away again. “And now you’re saying he’s liked me since middle school? Were we even friends, or has he just been waiting in hopes that I would date him one day?”

“Syd,” you say, your tone scolding. “That’s not Yunho, and you know it as much as I do. Besides, he dated that girl in high school. So no, I don’t think he’s been waiting for you.”

You’re a better liar than Sydney, because she believes you, her features visibly relaxing with your words. “You think?”

You nod, and you’d feel bad for lying to her if you weren’t starting to plan how to get the two of them together anyway.

“Yeah,” you say. “Yunho cares for you, that’s true, but if you just want to be friends, I know he’ll understand, and he’ll move on. He’s a grown man.”

Sydney sighs again, like the weight of the world is on her lungs, crushing the air out slowly but surely. “Right. He is.”

There’s a silence where the music seems to be a little louder, and you catch hints of a Harry Styles’ song before Sydney grabs her hot chocolate cup, taking a long sip from it.

“Ew,” she lets out.

You chuckle. “What?”

“It’s cold.”

You’re not surprised - you’ve been here for almost an hour and a half, and she’s always been a slow drinker. At least when it comes to hot chocolate. You’re the opposite - you finished your own cup five minutes after getting it.

You don’t really reply to that, just laughing as she picks up her book. You spy the red title - Sapiens - but then she already puts it back down again.

“Wait,” she says.

You cock an eyebrow. “Huh?”

“You didn’t tell me what’s on your mind, though?”

You make a non-committal sound, shrugging your shoulders. “Nothing, really.”

“I’m not buying that,” she scolds. “If I had to spill the beans, so do you.”

You roll your eyes. “I don’t have anything to say.”

“You went home pretty late on Sunday,” she says.

She knows, because you texted her when you left San’s apartment, asking if she was still over. Looking back, you should have realized that her one-word answer was probably a sign that something had happened, but you’d still been too high on what had happened with San that it had gone right over your head.

“I did,” you carefully reply.

“Why?”

You snort. “Because I had a project to do?”

“You told me you haven’t finished,” she points out. “And you were there for hours. So, what happened?”

You shrug once more. “Nothing, really.”

“So you’re going to tell me that he hasn’t been texting you tonight?”

You widen your gaze. “What the fuck?”

Sydney grins victoriously, her eyes sparkling with pride at her own observance. “You left your phone here when you went to the bathroom. He double-texted you, and I thought that was a little suspicious.”

Your tongue pushes on the inside of your cheek. “You’re telling me you’re stalking my phone?”

She closes her eyes, smiling innocently. “Nah. Just noticed because it was right there.”

She looks like the angel emoji right now, and you just roll your eyes again, chuckling.

“Well,” you let out, and then you hum, trying to find the best way to summarize what happened. You settle on the truth in its most simple form, and you say, “I sucked his dick.”

You think, if Sydney’s jaw could literally fall to the floor then, it would. “Bitch, I’m sorry, what the fuck?”

That makes you laugh, and you lean closer to her, hiding behind your laptop even though you’re not even remotely embarrassed about it, even if maybe you should be.

“You heard me right.”

“Can you please tell me how ‘we’re doing a project together’ translated to ‘I’m going to suck his dick’ because you’ve got me a little lost here.”

You snort, and the sound attracts the attention of nearby tables again, which only makes you dodge behind your laptop once more. “Could you please be louder?” you tease Sydney. “I’m pretty sure the table next to us is interested in the story.”

You both start laughing, and Sydney apologizes once the laughter subsides, pink clinging to her cheeks.

“Nah, you’re good,” you reassure her. “It’s just… I told him it was my birthday?”

Sydney nods, though she doesn’t say anything, waiting for you to continue.

“And he felt bad about me going to a memorial and then doing that project on my birthday, so he baked me a cake.”

“That’s… sweet,” Sydney says, pursing her lips. “But how did that lead to you sucking his dick?”

You wince, your cheeks burning. “Honestly I don’t know.” You chuckle, slightly shaking your head. “I just felt like it.”

“You know what?”

You cock an eyebrow, waiting for Sydney to continue.

“Hell yeah, girl, that’s some queen behaviour.”

You burst out laughing, this time not caring about the multiple gazes that slide to you. Sydney joins in on the laughter, and it does ease the tension you’ve felt since you arrived here earlier. Though, you reckon the tension has been lingering since even before then, when San sat with you for your class.

The tension does momentarily come back later that night when you’re on your phone, scrolling on Instagram reels in bed, and San sends you another picture of Byeol. He’s quick to send a text too, and you inadvertently click on the text message, a smile spreading on your lips at the sight of the picture.

[11:37 pm] San: i think she misses u

You click on the picture and, though you try to focus on Byeol’s sleepy form, San’s face right next to the cat is distracting, as are the dimples on his cheeks. His smile is small, but it lights up his whole face, and you catch yourself looking at the picture for a little longer than necessary.

You snap out of it soon enough, blinking once before replying.

[11:39 pm] You: ofc she does i’m the best

He doesn’t reply for a moment, so you switch back to Instagram, though you find yourself worrying at your bottom lip. To your relief, his answer comes a few minutes later: he just sent the emoji looking up in annoyance, and you chuckle. The chuckle dies in your throat as he texts again, and blood rushes to your cheek.

[11:45 pm] San: u should come over again sometime [11:46 pm] You: yeah? [11:46 pm] San: definitely

You smile. You can’t help it - if you could see yourself, you’d probably laugh at how lovesick you look. Despite the fact that you don’t know a lot about San, there’s just something about him that you can’t put your finger on. Maybe it’s his willingness to bake you a cake last weekend, and the way he’d cheered you up even though he barely knows you.

No matter what it is, you can’t help but reply to his text with eyes sparkling, your heart fluttering in your chest.

[11:47 pm] You: then maybe we can hang out some time this weekend?

His reply takes a moment to come, and you wait expectantly, still worrying at that dry skin on your lower lip.

[11:51 pm] San: i’m visiting my mom this weekend:(

Your heart sinks in your chest, disappointment taking over you. You try to ignore it, to push it to the back of your mind, but it lingers, dimming your mood.

[11:51 pm] San: but i’ll see you tomorrow!! [11:52 pm] San: u can come to mine instead of the library if u want

You consider it, if only for a minute. But you want to be able to work on the project, and you reckon you likely wouldn’t be able to focus if you were to go to his place.

[11:53 pm] You: nah, we gotta focus haha [11:53 pm] You: i can always come over some other time [11:53 pm] San: yes, ofc! [11:54 pm] San: after the wine and cheese next week?

And just like that your heart starts beating faster again, the hope coming back in full force. It sweeps you up your feet like a soft spring breeze lifts the fallen flower petals from the ground. Your lips break into a smile again, that same, lovesick smile you’d laugh at if you’d see it on someone else’s face, and you answer:

[11:55 pm] You: we’ll see🤭

And though San replies with an annoyed emoji again, your smile lingers until you fall asleep, dreaming of a dimpled smile and of a gentle laugh.

Wednesday, September 25th

The library is a haven of peace on campus, silent despite the amount of people sitting around at the many tables. You do hear faint chatter coming from some of the study rooms, but it’s mostly just a distant sound that you could almost confuse with that of the AC.

Today has been a sweltering hell, so the air con is welcomed after your walk outside, though you’d think it’s winter with how cold it is inside. It’s okay - your study room is likely going to be warmer, and you don’t think you’ll be here for too long anyway.

You pass by a table of people you know from your class, and Nayeon waves your way. You wave back, though you don’t stop as you’re already five minutes late to your meeting with San. She doesn’t mind - she’s already diving back into the open book in front of her, tapping her pen on her lips as she focuses.

You look away, finding your destination instead. San is sitting in front of his open laptop, fingers dancing on the keys, and he looks fully immersed in what he’s doing. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t notice you until you’re opening the door, and he startles at the sound, his eyes going a little wide.

But only for a second. Indeed, the moment San recognizes you, his features soften, his lips curving upwards.

“Hey,” he greets you, his eyes taking you in. “Why’d you dress so well?”

You blush. You can’t help it - did you go overboard?

“Ah, I just felt like it?” you say, and you’re thankful you managed not to stutter on your words like your heart stuttered in your chest.

“Had I known I would have put something else than this on,” he says, glancing down at himself.

He’s only dressed in a simple black t-shirt with matching jeans. It’s boyish, much more simple than the pale brown dress pants and tight fitted crop top you chose. Or maybe what makes you look so overdressed is the makeup you put on - a simple look, but you feel more confident with the makeup on, like you could take over the world if you needed to.

“Nah, you’re good,” you tell him as you move to the empty side of the table, pulling a chair away from it so that you can put your bag down.

You then sit in front of San, rummaging through your bag to get your laptop, a pen and a notebook. San watches you the whole time, one dimple gracing his cheek, and you feel your blush deepening even though you try not to pay attention to him.

“You’re cute,” he says.

He looks surprised he said the words aloud, even more so as you look at him like a deer in headlight.

“Oh, thanks,” you answer.

He purses his lips, nodding once before looking down at his laptop. “I’ve… worked on the project a little more,” he tells you. “I hope you don’t mind? I thought I’d try to start without you so that we can leave earlier.”

You narrow your gaze. “You want to get rid of me already?”

He laughs, slightly shaking his head. “No, I thought we could go get ice cream since it’s been so hot today.”

Your chest fills with warmth again, like it’s been doing whenever you thought about him since last night. You don’t know if it’s the conversation with Sydney that triggered it, or maybe the texts you exchanged with him last night, but it’s like something has changed. Or maybe you’re just weakened by the dimples in his cheeks.

Though you sucked his dick last Sunday, you barely even think of it right now. No, all you focus on is the easy banter, the soft smiles and shared laughter. You work well with San, a lot better than you ever expected you would, and you manage to finish most of the project in under an hour.

You like this. Projects like the one you have to do with San are usually always a hassle, but with him you feel confident, and you think it’s a relief that you don’t have to do most of the work this time around.

It’s a lot better than last semester, when you’d ended up redoing your partner’s part because it didn’t make any sense. You’d managed to get a decent grade still, but it did make you anxious about doing this project with San, though now you know that you have nothing to worry about.

“Shouldn’t we finish, since we’re here?” you ask.

He pouts. “You’ve been shivering since we got here. Let’s just go enjoy the rest of the evening.”

“I’m okay!” you lie, because you’ve indeed been getting gradually colder as you sat here with him. The study room isn’t as warm as you thought it’d be, and shivers have been slowly taking over you in a futile attempt to warm you up.

“Visibly,” San deadpans.

You look down at your arms. You’re covered with goosebumps, and you immediately hide your arms under the table, rubbing at the skin. “I swear I’m okay,” you insist. “We’re almost done. If we finish this now, we won’t have to work on it again.”

He narrows his gaze. “No.”

“What do you mean, no?”

His eyes sparkle with mischief, a smirk slowly growing on his lips. “I thought you said you could come hang out at mine soon.”

You almost choke on your saliva as you swallow. “And?”

“If we finish now, you won’t want to come over.”

You cock an eyebrow, a smile tickling at the corners of your lips. “What makes you think that I would need that excuse to want to hang out with you?”

The words are bold, but you feel bold sitting there in front of him. It slightly takes you by surprise, but then again the banter is easy with him, always.

“So if we finish now, you’re still down to come over next Monday?” he asks.

You don’t remember planning to go to his on Monday evening. Yet you feel excitement rushing through your blood at the perspective, and you furrow your brows as if in deep thoughts.

“Do I get box cake again?”

He chuckles, tilting his head to the side. “Nah, I’m trying to eat well. I can cook you something healthy, though.”

“With spice, I hope. None of that boring chicken.”

“I cook well, I’ll have you know!” he lets out, faking offense. The smile on his lips betrays him though, and you can’t help but laugh.

“Of course, of course.” You laugh as he rolls his eyes, and then you say, “Sure, I’ll come over on Monday. But we can finish the project tonight, and then we won’t have to worry about that on Monday.”

San literally beams at your suggestion, his grin wide as he opens his laptop again. “We’re still getting ice cream tonight, though.”

You’re endeared. So endeared by the man sitting in front of you, and you find yourself unable to say no. But you’re distracted now, and San seems like he is too. Especially as you both don’t add anything to the google doc you’re working on, just talking about what you could do for a conclusion.

San eventually sighs in frustration, slightly shaking his head. You cock an eyebrow in question, and then he says, “Honestly, this is not working. I’m starving.”

You snort. “Is that why you can’t focus?”

“As if you’re any better,” he grumbles.

You laugh, and then shrug innocently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You think I don’t notice you looking at me instead of trying to actually write anything.”

Your mouth falls open. “I’m not looking at you.”

“Oh, you so are. But I can’t blame you, I like to look at you too.”

There’s a silence as you just watch him with an amused smile, and then you answer, “That was cringe.”

“Right, no compliments,” he says as if he’s talking to himself. “Can’t I just think you’re pretty?”

“Is that why you fucked my mouth last Sunday?”

His eyes darken at the sudden reminiscing to what happened a few days ago. “Maybe.”

“So I’m just a pretty object to you, then.”

“When did I say that?” he asks, almost sounding offended.

“Like about right now,” you tease. “But it’s okay, maybe I only sucked your dick because you looked pretty.”

“Looked?”

You sit back in your chair, your laptop entirely forgotten. “Yeah.”

He narrows his gaze in suspicion, and then he lets out a laugh. “I was not expecting the conversation to go there,” he admits.

You chuckle, shrugging your shoulders. “Honestly, I can’t focus either. And no, it’s not because I’m looking at you.”

Your stomach, right on cue, grumbles loudly, and San snorts. “You know what, let’s go get something to eat. We’ll finish this next Monday.”

Though you would have liked to finish today, you have to admit that it’s just not working anymore, even though it flowed easily earlier. Maybe it’s because you planned to hang out with San again, and you can’t help but see it as a date.

Because what is it, if not a date? Though you’re not sure if San is the type of guy to date in general. According to the stories you’ve heard about him, you think he’s more the kind of guy to fuck around, not really caring about the consequences.

Which is exactly the kind of person you also are, as you don’t really date either. But then again, there’s something about San…

You stop the train of thoughts before it goes any further, putting away your stuff in your bag as San also gets ready to go. A moment later you’re leaving the study room, San beside you, and you make your way out of the library, passing next to Nayeon again.

She raises her head as you pass, and San slows down to greet her. You weren’t aware that they were friends, and you stand to the side as they whisper back and forth for a minute, talking about nothing that seems too interesting.

“Well, I’ll let you study, then,” San eventually says, and she nods, smiling softly.

“Thanks, I was almost done.”

He doesn’t really answer anything, especially not as the librarian is walking in your direction. He just waves to Nayeon, and then you’re walking away again.

“I didn’t know you were friends with Nayeon,” you say once you’re out of the library.

San throws you a look. “We went to high school together, actually,” he admits. “She’s a good friend.”

“I’ve literally never seen you talk to her before.”

“Yeah, we don’t talk a lot,” he says. “She…”

You wait for him to finish his sentence, but he remains silent.

“She what?”

He chuckles, and it sounds a little awkward. “We dated for a couple of months at the end of high school, but we broke up before prom,” he admits. “We remained friends but… not too close, you know?”

“Fair enough,” you let out, and then you walk in silence for a little while, though it’s not awkward.

It’s the kind of comfortable silence you like to revel in, the kind that you’re usually only able to share with Sydney. It’s strange to share it with San, but then again you like it.

You really like the easy friendship that’s been blossoming between the two of you. Perhaps that’s why you decided to dress up today, to do your hair and some light makeup.

“What about you?” San asks after a moment.

Confused, you throw a look at him. “What about me?”

“Do you have any ex? Any relationship from high school, or maybe college?” he adds, and your heart stops in your chest.

You do. But it’s not something you like to think about - your relationship with your ex was toxic as can be, and you’ve been pretending that it hasn’t happened for years now.

“Not really,” you choose to say.

San chuckles. “What do you mean, not really?”

“I’ve dated some guys before.” You shrug, ignoring his heavy gaze on your profile. “But nothing too serious.”

He hums, digging his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Because it didn’t work, or because it’s not your thing?”

Both. You’d say it’s both, because things with your ex and the others never did work, but also because, after your ex, you’d never really felt like dating at all.

“I guess I’ve just never met anyone that felt like we could work?” you say like a question. “Why do you want to know?”

You sound defensive. You didn’t even mean to, but San notices, and he glances towards you with a snort.

“Just making conversation.”

The silence turns awkward now, and you mentally curse yourself for it. You worry at your bottom lip, thanking San as he opens the door for you once you reach the exit of the building in which the library is.

“What a gentleman,” you tease him, if only so that the awkwardness disappears.

It thankfully works and San grins as he lets you pass. “What makes you think I’m not just trying to get a look at your ass?”

Your gaze widens, your mouth falling open, and you turn to look at him. “You did not just say that.”

He smirks, eyes sparkling as he shrugs. “I kind of did.”

You move closer, playfully punching him in the shoulder, and he just laughs. The sound wraps around you, quickens your heartbeat, and you find yourself looking at him for a moment, everything fading around you.

He rubs at the spot you punched, tilting his head to the side. “You’re cute when you’re mad.”

It breaks the enchanting moment, though it turns it into that easy camaraderie you share with him. It’s more comfortable, less vulnerable, and you narrow your gaze at him.

“I’m not mad.”

To make a show of it, you fold your arms on your chest, and San just chuckles again, before pulling on your wrist. The feeling of his fingers on your skin is electrifying, especially as he leans closer, his breath ghosting on the side of your face.

“Clearly not.”

He pulls you even closer, and you lay a hand flat on his chest as you stumble forward in surprise. You look up, startled, but San is looking at something behind you.

You glance that way, only to see that he actually pulled you out of the way of someone on a skateboard, and your cheeks burn as you step back, your gaze dropping to the ground much like his hand drops from your wrist.

“Whatever,” you mumble.

San laughs again. “Yeah, you’re cute.”

The blush on your cheeks deepens. “M’kay.”

Though the word may have been curt, you can’t hide the smile on your lips, and you know San sees it. Indeed, his own grin softens into a smaller smile, and you have to turn away from him to calm the flutters in your chest.

Why is your heart acting up so much around him? Hell, you’ve only known him for a few days and yet…

There really is something about Choi San that you can’t quite get your finger on.

Outside, the sun has touched the horizon, painting the sky in hues of gold and pink, yet the warmth from the day lingers, making for an evening reminiscent of summer. The breeze is gentle, barely even lifting the occasional fallen leaves that have started littering the ground. The ambience is gentle, and it’s no wonder the conversation with San becomes more serious as you make your way out of campus.

He asks you about what led you to political science, and you tell him that you’re following in your parents' footsteps, trying to become a lawyer. He admits he’s in it to become a lawyer too, though his reasons are different than yours.

“I really just want to help people,” he says as you walk down the path that leads out of campus and to the boulevard where most of the restaurants near college can be found. “And I wasn’t really good at science, so I decided to try and pursue law school instead.”

“Honestly, same,” you let out. “Why was science so hard?”

He huffs a breath of laughter, shrugging his shoulders. “Beats me. And don’t get me started on maths.”

“Maths suck.”

He nods in agreement, glancing your way for a few seconds before facing the way you’re going again. “Thank you for agreeing to get something to eat,” he says. “I really was starving in there.”

You smile. His profile is beautiful as you glance his way, sculpted in marble like those Greek statues you’d used to admire when you were younger and obsessed with Greek mythology. “Of course. I really am hungry too.”

“Do you want to eat anything in particular?” he says as you reach the street. “There’s a good ramen place this way, but if you want something else, I’m totally down for it.”

“What about dumplings?” you suggest. “I haven’t had some in a while.”

His gaze widens at your suggestion, his eyes sparkling in the streetlight that’s turned on now that the sun has sunk beneath the horizon. “Yes, definitely dumplings.”

So you head to the restaurant in question, surprised to find it pretty busy for a Wednesday evening. They still manage to squeeze you in at the back of the restaurant, and you settle down on the small booth against the wall while San grabs the chair in front of you. The waitress appears with glasses of water a few seconds later, pointing at the QR code on one end of the table to tell you that you can access the menu that way. San immediately points his phone at it, while you just throw a look at the couple that obviously looks like they’re on their first date next to you.

You feel the awkwardness radiating off them even from where you’re sitting. Especially as the girl tries to make conversation, and the guy only answers with one-worded sentences, never returning the questions to her.

“Yikes,” you whisper.

San raises his head. He’d been looking at the menu on his phone, and he cocks an eyebrow in question. Trying to be subtle, you tilt your head towards the couple, and San glances their way.

He winces, meeting your gaze again, and then he leans closer to make sure they can’t hear you. “Do you think they need help?”

You snort. “Help?”

“We can try to make them feel less awkward. Maybe order them some shots.”

You roll your eyes, your lips curving upwards. “Order shots at a dumpling restaurant. Do they even have alcohol?”

San nods. “Damn right they do,” he replies. “They have bottles of flavoured soju.”

“So what, you want to get one and share it with them?”

San narrows his gaze as if he’s realizing something, and then he says, “Wait, no, you don’t drink, right?”

He remembers. Your chest fills with warmth, and you just hold his gaze for a few seconds before looking down at the table. “No, I don’t.”

“Well never mind, then,” he says. “I’ll stick to water with you.”

“I mean,” you quickly say. “You can get something to drink if you feel like it.”

He shrugs like he doesn’t care, and then goes back to looking at the menu. “Nah, it’s all good. I’m going to have a drink with some friends tomorrow night anyway.”

You purse your lips, nodding before you also scan the QR code to see the menu. You both go through it for a moment of silence only interrupted by the awkward couple next to you and the faint K-pop playing in the background. Soon enough, you settle on pork and green onion dumplings along with a couple of side dishes, and then San waves at the waitress to give her your order.

“Do you come here often?” San asks after she leaves.

You take a sip of your glass of water. “I came here a bunch last year,” you admit. “But it’s my first time this semester.”

“Glad I get to come with you, then.”

And you’re glad too - spending time with him like this, outside of college, is fun, and you find yourself sharing laughter with him as you eat, and then as you go back to the world outside, the evening feeling young.

Or maybe it feels infinite, like maybe you don’t have a class tomorrow morning. Like maybe you were meant to walk around town with Choi San instead of going back home tonight, so when he suggests stopping at an ice cream shop before walking you home, you immediately accept.

You’re in line, standing next to him, when San leans in your line of vision, catching your gaze. “Which one do you want?”

“Just vanilla,” you say. “But dipped in chocolate.” You look at the menu behind the counter, narrowing your gaze. “Probably dulce de leche.” You glance at him, your gaze catching in the dimple on his cheek. “You?”

“The same,” he says. He moves towards the counter, and you grab his wrist, stopping him.

“I got it,” you tell him as he looks at you over his shoulder. “You got dinner, let me get dessert.”

Indeed, San ended up paying for the dumplings, claiming that it was his fault if you’d gone to the restaurant. You’d argued that you could split, but he was adamant, and you’d let it go, especially as the awkward couple next to you were looking at you.

San nods, before stepping aside, motioning towards the counter and the girl standing behind it, waiting for your order. “By all means.”

It makes you laugh, and you shake your head at him as you do step forward, and then you give the girl your order, paying quickly before joining San where he’s waiting by the wall.

“Thank you,” he says as you stop next to him.

“Don’t mention it.”

You watch as a teenager orders, and then your gaze slides behind the counter, where a guy is currently making what you assume is your ice cream. You get the confirmation that it is as he moves towards you after, handing it to you over the counter.

“Here,” you tell San after you’ve grabbed the ice cream. “Take this one, I’ll take the other one.”

He nods, smiling wide, and he takes the ice cream cone you’re offering him, immediately licking at it. His eyes widen appreciatively. “Shit, that’s good.”

You chuckle, and then you grab your own ice cream. The first lick makes your taste buds ignite with joy, and you look at San.

“Fuck, you’re right.”

It’s his turn to laugh, and you echo with a giggle of your own as you head outside of the ice cream shop. Though the evening is colder now - perhaps because you’re eating ice cream - San’s presence by your side keeps you warm, and you walk with him, slowly heading towards your apartment.

“Tonight was fun,” you say in between two licks.

San glances at you, chocolate staining his upper lip. It attracts your gaze, and you remember how you’d kissed last Sunday. Your blood heats up in your veins, a reminder of exactly what transpired that night, and you glance away.

“Yeah, it really was,” he agrees. “You’re fun to hang out with.”

You blush at the compliment, hiding it with a bite of ice cream. Though your teeth momentarily hurt, it helps with ignoring the vulnerability that San’s words raise in you, and it helps you to focus until your heart resumes its normal rhythm.

“So next Monday, you’re coming to mine?” San asks after a moment.

He’s done with his ice cream now, and he pulls a napkin from his pocket to wipe his mouth clean.

“That’s the plan,” you say. “Though, now that I think of it…”

You pull your phone out of your pocket, going to your conversation with Sydney as San patiently waits for you to continue.

“Shit, yeah.”

“What?” he lets out.

“I have something with my best friend on Monday,” you admit. “I totally forgot.”

He’s disappointed. You immediately see it - his features slightly fall, his eyes losing some of their sparkle, and you hate it.

You don’t want to be the cause behind Choi San’s disappointment.

“But you could come,” you suggest. “We’re going to the college movie night.”

A crease appears between his eyebrows. “What’s that?”

“They project an old movie on the last Monday of each month,” you explain. “I went with Syd a couple of times last year, and we missed the one in August. So she’s really looking forward to this one.”

“An old movie?” San repeats. “Not sure if that’s my vibe.”

“But no, wait, you really should come!” San raises an eyebrow, the corners of his lips slowly stretching as he smiles, waiting for you to continue. “My brother will be there.”

Yunho isn’t supposed to, but your brain is hatching a plan, one you think San might want to help with.

“You know my brother, right?” you add.

He seems unsure, which he confirms as he says, “Your brother?”

“Jeong Yunho? He said you guys know each other.”

“Oh shit.” San’s gaze widens, and he lets out a small laugh. “He’s your brother? I didn’t know.”

You’re not surprised - though you spoke about your brother to San last Sunday, you never really mentioned his name.

“Yeah.” You lick at your ice cream as you ponder what to say next.

Or rather how to say it.

“He’s in love with my best friend,” you finally choose to say.

“What?” San lets out. He chuckles, and then adds, “Sydney, right?”

You nod. “Yeah. What if…” you trail off, because you really think this could work.

It has to.

“What if?” San presses.

“What if I get him to come to the movies and you help me get them together?”

San snorts. “And how would we do that?”

“I don’t know, we’ll go with the flow,” you say, shrugging your shoulders. “You in?”

Maybe it’s the atmosphere this evening is home to. Maybe it’s the way you throw a look at him, pleading with your gaze. Because San folds, a dimple appearing in his cheeks as he smiles.

“Sure, I’ll come with you,” he says. “But you have to come over after.”

You frown. “Why?”

“Gotta finish the project.”

He’s got a point. “Fuck.”

He laughs, gently nudging you with his elbow. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fun. And we don’t have an early class on Tuesday, so you can even sleep over if you want.”

Your heart skips a beat. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

San pouts, and you almost want to take the words back just so that you can see his smile again.

“I’ll hit the couch, don’t worry,” he reassures you, his voice slightly whiny. “And that way, you can tell Yunho to walk your best friend home.” He flashes a quick wink. “That’ll get them together, no?”

You reckon it’s a good idea. But you’re not sure about sleeping over - though that can be a problem for Monday, can’t it?

“Alright, we got a plan,” you agree. “It better work.”

And you really hope it does.

Silence rises between the two of you as you finish eating your ice cream, every step you take taking you closer to home. San keeps throwing glances your way that you try your best to ignore, though you can’t help the blush that dusts your cheeks. Up in the sky, the moon has risen, shining endlessly amongst the occasional clouds. The breeze blows stronger now, and you can’t help your shiver as you turn in the street that’ll lead you home.

“You cold?” San asks.

You glance at him, your gaze almost immediately dropping to the ground as you find him already looking. “I think it’s the ice cream,” you say. “But we’re almost there, I’ll survive.”

San nods, and then he steps a tad closer, just enough for his arm to brush yours. “I’d offer you my shirt but I’d rather not be shirtless in the middle of the street.”

All your brain can conjure up is the image of him in that tight athletic t-shirt he was wearing on Sunday - it’d done little to hide the muscles underneath. The thought of him taking off his shirt now, revealing the skin you’d wanted to see yet hadn’t…

It’s indecent.

“Yeah, no,” you say, laughing lightly. “Keep the shirt on.”

“Will do.”

And so he does, but the image in your mind is enough to warm you up. It clings to your thoughts as you finish the trek to your apartment, and you stop outside, turning to face San.

His hands are still in his pockets, and he offers you a smile before glancing to the side. “This your place?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

His attention returns to you, and you find yourself getting lost in his eyes, in the way they reflect the light of the streetlights. It makes it look like he has a gentle fire in his gaze, one that is rendered soft by the dimples gracing his cheeks. Behind him, over you, shines the moon, and another strong gust of wind shakes his hair in front of his eyes, sending yours flying around your head.

You tuck your hair behind your ears while San cards a hand through his. His smile widens, and he lets out a small chuckle that wraps around your heart, making it far too warm.

“Well then,” he lets out. He shifts on his feet, slightly rocking back and forth like he’s feeling awkward standing there. It’s cute, endearing, and that, too, warms your chest. “Have a good rest of your evening, Y/n.”

You both don’t move. You don’t even answer, you just stand there, your gaze dropping to his lips. They glisten when he wets them, and you’re keenly aware that you’re staring, yet you can’t help yourself.

“I should…” he trails off, motioning to the side.

You nod, gulping. “Yeah, you should.”

He winces. “Damn, you want to get rid of me this fast?”

“No!” you immediately say, gaze widening. “That is not what I meant.”

He bursts out laughing at your expense as your cheeks burn. And then he says, “You know what?”

You cock an eyebrow, your heartbeat quickening as he takes a step towards you. “What?”

He raises a hand to push a strand of hair behind your ear after it’s escaped from another gust of wind. “I’ve wanted to kiss you all evening.”

Your throat dries, and your mouth falls open. But you’re rendered speechless, and all you can do is look at him as he moves even closer. You’re engulfed with his warmth and the faint scent of his cologne - you’d noticed it before, yet now it’s all you can smell as he leans closer.

“Can I?” he asks.

You wonder if he can hear the wild beats of your heart in your chest. If he can tell that you’ve wanted this too despite trying to convince yourself that you shouldn’t.

“San…” you trail off.

He takes a deep breath, inching a little closer. But he stops, still waiting for your consent.

“I’m not sure if we should…” You gulp. “We’re partners in that project and…”

He moves imperceptibly closer. “And?”

“What if it fucks things up?”

You see the battle in his gaze as he looks from one of your eyes to the other repeatedly, searching for the words he wanted to hear. You think he might find them - you really want to kiss him too, and you feel yourself leaning closer. But then he steps away from you, and cold seeps in your veins.

“Right.” He looks towards a car as it passes in the street. “Shit. My bad.”

“No.” You take a step closer to him, reaching for his hand by instinct. You gently squeeze it, and his gaze returns to yours. “Don’t apologize. I just think we should be… responsible?”

He nods, and his thumb rubs at the side of your hand. It scatters butterflies in your chest, paints your mind in pastel colours and for a moment, you think he’ll say fuck it and kiss you. You want him to, but he just lets go of you.

It hurts, but it’s less vulnerable that way. Much safer, especially considering that you’ll be his partner for the whole semester anyway.

What would happen if things were to go south before you finished the project? You’d rather not know.

“I agree,” he says with a nod. “You’re still coming over on Monday though, right?”

Your lips stretch softly. You don’t know how many times he’ll need you to confirm it, and you think the insecurity is endearing, if only because you’d never thought Choi San would be insecure, especially not with you, and not after what happened last Sunday.

“Yes, of course.”

That brings the dimples back to his cheeks, and you think it’s the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen. “Alright, then. See you in class tomorrow, Y/n.”

You wish him good night, and though the atmosphere is still filled with tension, you turn around, walking down the short path that leads to the door. You turn when you reach it, if only so that you can wave at him.

He’s looking at you, and you’d describe his gaze as longing if you didn’t know any better. So you turn back around to ignore the way your heart lances in your chest, and then you go in, leaving Choi San standing there on the sidewalk.

You climb the stairs to your floor, everything in you wanting to turn around and find him. But you don’t - you make it all the way to your door, unlocking with your lungs feeling like they’re straining to get air in. It’s a strange feeling, one that possibly can be explained by the dimples on San’s cheeks, or by the way his piercing yet soft gaze was regarding you just a moment ago.

It luckily doesn’t linger as you finally walk in, catching sight of Yunho lying on the couch, just staring up at the ceiling.

“What are you doing?” you ask as you close the door, dropping your bag on the floor. You kick off your shoes, your sock-clad feet padding towards him.

Yunho sighs dramatically. “I feel like shit.”

Choi San disappears from your thoughts at your brother’s words, and you quickly finish crossing the distance to the couch, pushing his legs off so that you can sit. “What’s wrong?”

You could beat yourself mentally for the question - he did lose one of his childhood friends recently, and was rejected by Sydney - but it seems that it was needed.

Indeed, your brother is not one to usually open up, so you’re relieved when he says, “Life is just… weird.”

“Yeah?” you let out, not wanting to prod, knowing that he’ll talk to you if he wants to.

He sighs, a heavy sigh that makes you want to pat his head the same way he’d use to comfort you when you were younger and hurt yourself.

“Can I admit something?” he asks. He looks at you, and you nod in confirmation. “I’m kinda in love with…” He laughs, though it’s a bitter sound, one that seems to pain him. “With Syd. Sorry.”

You offer him a gentle smile. “Yun, I know. Everyone and their mother knows.”

He raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“It’s obvious.” You chuckle as his cheeks dust with pink, and his gaze trails away from you to return to the ceiling. “And you don’t have to worry about it.”

“I’m not…” he trails off. “I wasn’t asking for permission.” He shifts, sitting up with his back against the couch. He sighs again, and his shoulders slump forward with heaviness. “What I’m trying to say is, I wouldn’t let you get between me and her if she wanted me.”

You know what’s going to come next - Sydney told you the outcome after all. But you still wait for Yunho to speak, to confide in you himself. It takes him a moment of collecting his thoughts, of looking at his hands in his lap as he spins a ring around one of his fingers.

“She rejected me,” he confesses.

“I…” you let out. You take a deep breath to gather courage, and then finish, “I know. She told me.”

Yunho glances at you, and the glistening silver on his waterline breaks your heart. “It was already bad after what happened to Nick…”

“Yun, don’t cry,” you say in horror as a tear slips on his cheek.

He laughs again, wiping the tear away with the back of his hand. “I’ve been a fucking mess.”

“It’s okay,” you reassure him. “I think Syd was just taken aback.”

He wets his lip, his tongue pushing in his cheek. “We haven’t really talked since then.”

“Just give her space,” you tell your brother. “I’m sure she’ll come around.”

Yunho frowns, glancing at you. “What do you mean?”

You look away, your eyes falling on the unlit screen of the TV. You can see the vague reflections of you and Yunho in there, and you focus on that as you say, “I think she might not realize it yet, but she feels the same.”

“Don’t,” Yunho whispers.

You cock an eyebrow. “What?”

“Don’t give me hope.” He slightly shakes his head, sighing again. “I’d rather just move on than get my hopes up.”

“Listen.” You wait for him to look your way before you continue. “I can’t say I know for sure that she feels the same, obviously. But I’ve seen the way she looks at you, and how disappointed she is whenever she comes over and you’re not around. She always asks about you, and I just really think she doesn’t realize it.”

Yunho remains silent, but his eyes pool with tears again as he gulps.

“And I’m not necessarily saying that she will realize it either.” She might be your best friend, but you can’t claim to know exactly what she might do. “I really hope so for the two of you, but for now I think she just needs space. You took her by surprise.”

“I think…” He pauses, looking for words. “She seemed weirded out because it was after Nick’s memorial.”

You’re not surprised that Yunho noticed - he’s always been attuned to her, even before he knew he had feelings for her. Or at least you’ve always assumed - even when you were kids, he always cared for her, making sure she was happy and smiling.

“Which would be understandable,” you say. “I love you, Yun, but that was a weird moment to confess your love to someone.”

He frowns, grinding his teeth. “You really have a way to cheer someone up, you know?”

You smile sheepishly. “I mean… I’m just saying the truth.”

Yunho doesn’t reply right away, just running a hand through his hair, leaving it dishevelled. Right when you think he might not say anything at all, he says, “So you think I should just give her space?”

You nod. “Yes.” You purse your lips, and then add, “We’re going to the movies next Monday. Come with us.”

“Are you sure she’d want me to be there?”

You shrug. “Yeah. You’re friends, too. And it’s not like I’ll give her a choice.”

“That doesn’t sound like giving her space.”

He’s right, and you see your plan to get them together start to collapse on itself. “I’ll make sure she’s okay with it before,” you say as reassuringly as you possibly can.

He meets your gaze, and you’re relieved that he’s blinked the tears away now. “Don’t force her, though. If she needs more space than that, I can wait.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll tell her you went on a date, that should do the trick.”

“Fuck off!” His eyes are round, and he shakes his head. “Do you have to be crazy?”

You nod innocently. “Yes.”

“That has no chance of working.”

But you know your best friend. If there’s a thing that might make her aware of her feelings, it’s jealousy.

“Just let me do my thing,” you tell Yunho.

“If it goes bad…” he trails off, shakes his head once. “If it goes bad I’ll kill you.”

You think you’d deserve it.

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soooo do we like our baby simps? please tell me what you think of this chapter!